Diary of a Dad : Week 32 - You Can't Always Get it Right

by Adam Riches

You can’t always get it right as a parent, it’s as simple as that. Anyone who says they’re acing it is either lying or they are deluded. The thing is, taking the wins when you get them is so important as a parent. The past week or so we’ve had some good (passable) behaviour from the boys and it’s made all the difference...considering they’re normally literally battering each other and causing nothing but carnage.

I know that it isn’t going to last forever, but I’m taking the fact they are getting on as a sign that good things are to come (to confirm, in the background I can definitely hear some kind of biting happening and A LOT of screaming!)

There is this stigma that you have to get things exactly right as a parent. Kids are complicated and you can’t just read a book and suddenly have the answers. Children require more than a bit of theory and a few top tips, you need to be responsive and adaptable and you need to get stuff wrong so you can learn from your mistakes.

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Online, there is a lot of pressure to be a certain way. It’s like there’s this weird competition where you get some arbitrary mark for your parenting through the judgement of total strangers/people you used to know but literally don’t give a shit about anymore. It’s that judgement that sometimes makes you feel like you're not doing as well as others. The annoying little comments, “ Oh he’s lively” - roughly translated to, “He’s a fucking nightmare,” or, “ Mine’s sleeping through the night now” which we all know means, “Sleeps for a bit of the night but I’m going to exaggerate as I know yours doesn’t sleep at all.”

The thing is, you need to figure out what getting it right means for you. For me, it’s about having fun, smiling and making the most of being together - that’s what getting it right means. I don’t need validation from others, or other people's definitions of getting it right. So much of the pressure we put on ourselves is created through the accumulation of small things over time. Stripping parenting back and really focusing on what is important means that you re able to build your confidence in what you are doing. 

You'll always get the haters and those who think they know best, but just rest assured you're not always going to get it right and that doesn't matter.

Be happy with what you are doing and you’ll massively reduce the pressure on yourself and you will find that parenthood is a lot less stressful...just kidding, it’s still well stressful


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Written by

Adam Riches

Blogger, Teacher and Father of One
Being a parent isn’t something you can ever truly prepare for (no matter how many things you read about!) I don’t think I’ll ever really get it right, but that’s what being a parent is all about for me - effectively winging it and being totally ok with just doing your best at being a dad. I’m stumbling through life as a dad of one and between extracting coco pops from my son’s nose and trying to persuade him that dinosaurs aren’t going to get him at night, I write a bit and I teach a lot.

Articles on YourBabyClub.co.uk are a mixture of informative pieces, anecdotal accounts and professional advice from our panel of Bloggers, Writers and Experts. The views and opinions expressed in these articles are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the official view of Your Baby Club UK

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