You’re warned about the fourth trimester, but you never really understand the full extent of just how difficult it can be until you're in it. We’re often led to believe that the sleepless nights are the hardest thing about being a new mum. However, in my experience, it’s the feeling of needing to do everything, for everybody, all of the time which I’ve found the most difficult.
I’m a new mum of two. I have an almost-three-year-old toddler and a super fresh three-week-old baby. I’ve experienced the fourth trimester and its difficulties before only this time it hits differently! The first time around I felt like I had a to-do list a mile long, however this time with two, it feels like double that!
Double the children, double the trouble, double the to-do list.
I’m not a naive person, I know I can’t do everything. I can’t split myself in two. My experience the first time around has really shaped how I’ve gone into motherhood the second time around. I've lowered my expectations, halved my to-do list, halved it again and when I realised that wasn’t working I screwed it up and threw it in the bin... And I think you should do the same.
Why you need to ditch the to-do list.
To-do lists are overwhelming at the best of times but even more so for new mums. Two days are never the same as a new mum and you can never predict the interruptions that’ll occur during your day. Some days it feels like you’re winning at life and others it’s the complete opposite.
Imagine you’re having one of the latter days, the last thing you need is a to-do list a page long full of menial tasks such as cleaning the skirting boards or deep cleaning the kitchen. The reality is that neither of these things matter.
Your baby matters.
To-do lists don’t matter.
Why you need a ta-da list.
A ta-da list is the opposite of a to-do list. It’s a gratitude list and a catalogue of self-appreciation. A ta-da list can be added to throughout the day, spurring you on right through until bedtime. Your ta-da list celebrates your victories, no matter how small or insignificant they may feel. These small victories need to be celebrated as a new mum. We need something to get us through our monotonous days.
Change your mindset mama, you need a ta-da list rather than a to-do list.
My ta-da list.
To finish I thought I’d let you in on my ta-da list from today. It isn't filled with the most adventurous things nor are they the most successful, but they're things that have made me feel good about my day.
1. I managed to get my toddler bathed and dressed before 11 am.
2. I successfully transitioned my napping baby into her Moses basket.
3. My toddler played independently whilst I tended to my baby.
4. I enjoyed a hot cup of coffee with my mother in law.
5. I cooked a healthy. nutritious tea for us all to eat.
To-do lists can be great! They’re motivating and can give you great amounts of satisfaction when you tick things off, however as a new mum you absolutely don’t need the added pressure. You need a ta-da list rather than a to-do list!
What have you got on your ta-da list today?
