Swearing Saves My Brain

by Matilda Miles

You always hear of the expression swearing like a sailor and that’s true they swear a lot!!

My boyfriend Adam is ex-navy and nearly every other word he says is fuck. But nothing could have prepared him for my level of swearing, I could make a sailor blush.

In my family growing up swearing was not uncommon but most of the time it was coming for the music my mum would blast through the house, she loves rap (mainly Eminem) so we mainly learned how to swear through that. However, there is a fun little story my mum loves to this day! My mum has 6 kids and I'm the youngest and there is a 10-year-old gap between me and the eldest who had thought it would be a really great idea to teach me how to talk (swear) she would sit with me for hours trying to get me to say fuck, nothing happened until one Sunday we went to church... you can see where this going right? You have a quiet moment in mass and on one of those occasions that’s when I decided to say my first big word other than mama and no, so all the people are saying their quiet prayers and then hear a very loud FUCK coming from a child, that’s me, and I haven't really stopped swearing from that point on.

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I always thought my god I swear a lot, I've even been told I swear a lot but then I enter motherhood and lord have mercy on my soul I swear a lot. It's literally the only thing I can say that keeps me sane. My line that I say at least 25 times a day is 'what the fuck' mainly because my child is so weird or that my brain has completely given up on me and decided I'll leave my laptop in the fridge thinking its a cupboard eventually realising what I'm doing I ask my self what the fuck am I doing. I have to laugh at myself because no one else will.



Instead of raising my voice at my son when he's done something naughty like putting Sudocrem all over himself I just have to for fuck sake why?? I've been told I need to stop swearing now that son is learning to talk but I won't stop I’ve been doing it for 26 years also if he did swear it's my job to teach what words are acceptable and when he can swear obviously like he can't swear at pre-school, school or with his friends or his grandparents but he can swear in our house and as he gets older he will know that certain words are not acceptable because I wouldn't have used them and I will tell off big time if he used the really inappropriate words.

I see swearing as a way of letting off steam in a way good way and don't use to offend people although some people are offended by swearing in general but each to their own I guess. Personally, it's like piercing your child's ears some don't like and think it's just wrong and other's are neither bothered nor unbothered by it and some do it because they like.

Just because I'm now a mum I'm not going to be able to stop swearing overnight but also there's damage down and it keeps me sane.


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Written by

Matilda Miles

Matilda Miles
My name is Matilda but everyone calls me Tilly, I'm a first time mum to a little boy called Dexter who was born 6 weeks early but luckily was very healthy considering. I'm the youngest of 6 and raised by my mum who has been a huge support and my go-to person. I'm also a huge Disney obsessed fan and am a huge animal person and I have a very grumpy cat who is very protective of my son. I also suffer from severe post-natal depression but I'm in the road to recovery and I'm also in the midst of writing a book about it all.

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