There's No Such Thing as 'Quiet' When You Have Kidsby Matilda Miles
There's 2 sayings 'silence is golden'... and 'silence is dangerous when you have a toddler'
Both could not be more true, but when you have a toddler you never get to experience silence without being paranoid something is wrong. Leave them alone for 2 seconds and they've destroyed a whole room, spilt tea on the carpet, stains galore!!
Even those precious toilet breaks are ruined by them banging on the door screaming 'mummy mummy' so you open the door and they just waltz in and want to sit on your lap, turn taps on, open and take everything out. Beyond annoying.
I can't even have a shower without my son barging in and destroying everything. He even once found my phone and chugged it in the bath and turned the taps on, I had to run out of my shower soaking wet turning the taps off and rescuing my phone before returning to my shower as I still had shampoo in my hair and I completely forgot to put a towel down on the water on the floor and then he threw a tantrum because I was getting the shampoo out and he slipped on the water and started to scream. That all happened in the space of 2 minutes.
[Read more: 20 Reasons Why Mums Drink Gin]
Honestly, it's exhausting dealing with tantrums, chasing and all the toys that could fill Disneyland. But then somehow if by magic is bedtime YAYYY you get them all tucked in and they drift off to a blissful sleep where they no longer look Damien from the omen but the beautiful sweet angel and then you go downstairs and you see a bombsite you have to tidy it up, put everything away and sort the dishes. Every now and then you will stop and think are they crying are they awake? Please don't let them be awake. Once all of your evening chores are done its time for you to sit back and some me time but then you see the time and you are too tidied to watch an episode of a series you've been hoping to watch so you go to bed.
The only time you get true silence is when their grandparents take them for the weekend but then you are constantly checking in to make sure they have everything or how they are doing if he/she is ok and if they've had a nap. Once you're satisfied with your answers, you will then turn your focus onto in mountain of washing get that going. Vacuum everything, find a random dummy in a shoe, a secret stash of food that's all mouldy and you have to hold back from gagging whilst cleaning up.
You have a final check how they're doing and proceed to have a steaming bubble bath and a hot cup of tea and binge-watch the series you haven't gotten round to until now. And that's when you experience silence, is golden.
[Read more: Top 5 Bingeworthy Netflix Shows for First Time Mums]
You should still take the noise in and just think soon enough, they'll be refusing talk to you when they have a tantrum. But these loud and annoying moments don't last forever and you will be living in silence, you'll miss those times.