What Governs You as a Parent?by Adam Riches
You really don’t know how you’re going to actually parent until you’re knee-deep in it. You can plan to try certain things, but the reality is that a lot of what you do and how you do it is already innate - it’s already in you. Looking at it, there are a few big things that can influence you and how you do things.
The things you have done in your life imprint upon you, they make you who you are. All of the things you have seen and done have an impact on the decisions you make and your viewpoint - they also affect how you parent. Just because you’ve done more doesn’t make you a better parent, but doing things pre-kids gives you all sorts of confidence post-kids.
A huge influence on your approach to parenting will be your own parents. If they’re involved with your kids, no doubt you’ll be inundated with (useless) advice. Parents can really impact how you parent yourself - they have that way of making you feel you have to do things their way…even if they don’t explicitly say it.
Not only this, but your own relationship with your parents makes you reflect on how you are with your kids. You learn a lot about how to be but also how not to be from them.
Those around you
I’ve found it really weird with our second child as you just don’t have the pressure on round 2. When we had our first, I felt like I was constantly comparing myself to others. I wasn’t doing it competitively, it was more of a check if I’m doing it right comparison.
Looking back, I think we did things we wouldn’t have done if we were left to our own devices…but hindsight is a wonderful thing.
Wherever you look on Instagram, you see what other people are doing. You can’t help but be influenced by what other people say and do online - you literally can’t escape them most of the time...and it’s the annoying ones that are popping up the most!
Instagram can be a weird place too with so many people building their own brands, it can be really hard to see what is real and what is fake. You have to apply your filter and I always like to remind myself that most of what you see is total bullshit.
It’s a cliche, but you need to do you. There are so many external influences on us as parents and it’s so the best advice out there is you know what’s best for you kids. Back yourself!