Maternity Fashion Faux Pas


If you’re reading this as a newly pregnant mother-to-be, you may have a small interest in what clothes to wear, what to avoid, what looks good with an expanding bump etc etc…

If you’re reading this as a heavily pregnant mother-to-be, I can almost guarantee that you are at the stage of not giving flying duck about how you look and you’re simply bothered about being as comfortable as possible. (NB: ‘as possible’ does not guarantee that you will actually be comfortable…but you know that already!)

No matter what stage of your pregnancy you are in, however, there is one thing you need to know – especially if you are going away – and that is that your bump/body can suddenly grow without ANY warning. I had a bit of disaster on holiday whilst pregnant as the knickers and bras that fit perfectly when I left, were suddenly way too small after a few days! You can read more about that story and how I handled it over on my post – The Holiday Bump…includes probably my last EVER bikini photo, for lots of reasons!

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I could give you lots of advice on things you SHOULD be wearing when pregnant, but it’s not half as fun as telling you about all of the things I shouldn’t have done…

1. Dresses and skirts that go above the knee later in pregnancy. If your bump is big, and also quite low, it will be physically impossible for you to sit down whilst keeping your legs closed. It’s actually physically impossible to be very lady-like whilst doing lots of things when pregnant, so bear this in mind and invest in a good pair of maternity leggings instead of tights. Oh, and practise doing the beached whale roll off the sofa whilst you still can.

    2. Don’t pack your usual sized smalls for a 2 week holiday anywhere and expect them to still fit at the end of it. In fact, don’t pack ANYTHING that doesn’t stretch and expect it to still fit! (See above for more info)

      3. On the point above, don’t over-inflate your imagined size either. I once went out for a walk with a GINORMOUS pair of pants on in later pregnancy – feeling very smug that I had definitely planned well enough to avoid any digging or chaffing whilst walking. What actually happened was that my knickers fell down whilst walking (I was wearing a long summer dress) and because my bump was too big for me to bend down and pick them up, I had to simply ‘walk out’ of them and then get my toddler to retrieve them from the pavement for me. Still worry there’s some cctv of that somewhere!

        4. Do not, for the love of God, do an ‘ugly stepsister’ and squeeze your feet into Cinderella’s tiny glass slipper. (Cinderella being the pre-pregnant you). If it’s a squeeze before you’ve moved around in them, you can sure as hell bet they aren’t going to be much use once you’re upright and your feet begin to swell. I once got stuck in my Dubarry slim fits for a not-insignificant amount of time. Flip flops and Ugg boots are probably your best bet if you have to do anything other than put your feet up.

          5. I probably don’t have to say this, but, don’t go bra-free. You can start leaking colostrum at any point (20 weeks pregnant for me!) and it can show. Breast-pads can be used before a baby arrives.

            6. Always check in a mirror before you leave the house – especially if your bump is large and you can’t see underneath it! I’m just going to leave this grainy image here, by way of explanation, taken AFTER I got back from town….

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