Regaining Your Identity After Motherhood: A 5 Step Guide to Finding Yourself Again

mum and son laughing together

Being a mum is one of the most rewarding experiences a woman can have, but it can also be all-consuming. The responsibilities and demands of motherhood can easily lead to a loss of identity and make it feel like you're just going through the motions. But it's important to remember that taking care of yourself and rediscovering who you are is necessary for being the best mother possible.

Motherhood is a 24/7 job, and it can be easy to become consumed by the responsibilities and demands of taking care of your children. As a result, many mothers find themselves neglecting their own needs and putting everyone else's before their own. This can lead to a loss of identity and make it feel like you're just going through the motions.

Here are five common ways mothers can lose themselves in the role:

Putting Everyone Else's Needs First

As a mother, it's natural to prioritise your children's needs over your own. You might think this is just your role as a Mum, but this can lead to neglecting your own needs and desires and result in burnout and frustration.

It's vital to remember that you are more than just a mother and that your own needs and desires are important too. The focus of motherhood is, of course, the children, but so many women ignore their physical and mental well-being and don't feel like the same person as they were before the kids came along.

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Neglecting Personal Interests and Hobbies

With the demands of motherhood, it can be challenging to find time for hobbies and interests that once brought you joy. Neglecting these activities can result in a loss of identity and make it feel like you're just going through the motions.

Struggling to Balance Motherhood With Work and Other Responsibilities

Juggling the responsibilities of motherhood, work, and other obligations can be overwhelming. This can result in neglecting your own needs and desires, leading to a loss of identity.

Feeling Guilty for Wanting Time for Themselves

Many mothers feel guilty for wanting time for themselves. Still, it's important to remember that taking care of yourself is not only okay but necessary for being the best mother possible.

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How To Reclaim Your Identity as a Mother

Taking care of yourself is key to being the best mother possible, and rediscovering who you are is an important part of that.
Here are five ways to reclaim your identity as a mother:

1. Pursue Hobbies and Interests


Spend time on things you love, whether it's painting, gardening, reading, or anything that brings you joy. Take a few hours to yourself when you can, and forget all the responsibilities of your day-to-day life. Pursuing hobbies and interests is a great way to rediscover your identity and feel like yourself again.

2. Connect With Friends

Take the time to catch up with friends, join a book club, or go out for a night on the town. Connecting with others is an essential aspect of self-care and can help you feel more connected to yourself and the world around you.

Try out an app or Facebook group dedicated to mums who live near you if you're looking for new friends, these friends will likely feel the same as you, and this can be a great way to meet like-minded people. Having a strong support system who understands you is so important to reclaim your identity.

3. Practice Self-care

Make time for yourself, whether it's through exercise, a spa day, or simply meditating. Practising self-care is a great way to recharge and refresh and can help you feel like yourself again.

4. Take a Break

Plan a weekend getaway or a solo trip to recharge and refresh. Taking a break is a great way to escape the stress of day-to-day life and have some relaxing time to decompress, recharge and regain your pre-pregnancy sense of self.

5. Volunteer or Get Involved in Community Work

Giving back can boost self-esteem and provide a sense of purpose, helping mothers to feel like themselves again.

Motherhood can, at times, take over our lives, leading to a loss of identity. By pursuing hobbies and interests, connecting with friends, practising self-care, taking a break, and volunteering or getting involved in community work, you can begin to feel like yourself again.

Remember, taking care of oneself as a mother is not selfish; it's necessary. So, don't be afraid to reclaim your identity and prioritise your well-being.

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