Why We Stay Home on Guy Fawkes Night


Well, it’s that time of year again! The kids are excited, the dogs are shitting themselves! It’s bonfire night.

I’ve always loved a good bonfire, whether it’s an official set up, or just burning the ex’s clothes in the back yard! I LOVE everything about it, the famous Lancashire bowl of black peas, the smell of the air! I loved it a little bit too much as a kid and stood a bit too close to the fire, ended up with embers burning through my coat! That was back in the 90s when things weren’t as flame-resistant as well, I’m surprised I survived the night. I never ever thought that the excitement would go, and in a sense, it hasn’t.

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I always pictured having my own family huddled together, sparklers in hand, woolly hats on, watching the sky. That was until I actually became a mum. And the fear set in. The dreaded fear... What happens if the fireworks scare the baby, what happens if a kid wanders into the crowd! I've outnumbered three kids to one adult! What happens if they got lost! Or taken! The panic sets in! It’s a scary world! And I’m just not brave enough.

I used to feel so guilty like my kids were missing out! But I’m hoping when they are older they will understand! Mum was just a shitbag. We do however try and make it as special as possible. It’s not got the same effect when you're stood at the bedroom window but it’s better than nothing, isn’t it? We get our hot chocolates ready, our dressing gowns on and we sit there, and we wait! We wait to see who sees the first one and who sees the biggest! We run from the front bedroom window to the back bedroom window 10+ times depending on which direction the fireworks are coming from. It’s warm and we laugh, then at the end of the night (or bedtime), they climb into bed.

children drinking hot chocolate at home with dog

It’s perfect for us! Not for everybody. Maybe when they’re older I’ll take them to a proper display, but until then I’ll carry on trying (and failing) to make my own black peas every year. Still can’t master that.

We do get sparklers at least. that’s something I suppose! I normally just stick them in the ground and let the kids watch them until I saw the trick where you place them in carrot! Safe enough and chunky enough for little hands to hold!

So, if like me, you’re a shitbag, but believe me, you’re not the only one. Just know… you’re doing FINE! Get a comfy seat next to the window and see who can spot the first colours. At least you won’t be coming home having to change out of smokey clothes and wrestle tired kids into PJs!

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