9 Things You Shouldn't Say to Someones Child


As a parent, there are times where you have to tell your kids off, there are times you have to praise them and there’s all of those times in between. Kids learn a lot from you and when you talk to your own brood, nothing is really off limits - you make your own rules, they’re yours.

Something that I can’t stand is when people take it upon themselves to say certain things to my kids. I’m pretty easy going (no, really I am) but there are a few choice phrases that really get to me when people say them to other people’s kids...

Say sorry

Apologies are personal things. Having someone tell you to apologise defeats the object of a genuine apology! I can remind my children to do the right thing, but I hate it when others encroach on that sacred right.

You shouldn’t be doing that

Disciplining other people’s children is a sketchy ground. It’s awkward and I’m totally against someone else telling my child what they can and can’t do - I’m the boss of them, I decide what’s right and wrong!

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Be careful

I’m all about exploring the world. My philosophy is that children need to learn. I don’t encourage high altitude circus tricks, but I don’t want to I still fear in my children. They’ve got a whole life of barriers and ceilings, being a kid isn’t about being careful!

Are you going to give them a kiss?

Any kind of affection needs to be natural and organic. Telling someone else’s kid to do things like kissing goodbye is a real invasion of boundaries. Again, it can be really, really awkward fir children and parents alike. Long live social distancing.

Are you allowed a sweet?

What child will say no to that?! I hate having to be a bad cop with things like sweets. Yes, kids should have treats etc. but I’m the one who has to deal with the delayed sugar onset! Wind them up and send them off.

You like that? He/she loves that

Yea, I know - I dined most of my life with this little human. Your revelation doesn’t remotely impress me...in fact I find it offensive that you think I don’t know. How annoying is it when it isn’t something you know though?!

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I try not to fucking swear near the kids but sometimes you can’t help it. When people don’t dial it back, I get really annoyed. Firstly, they’re like sponges and secondly I don’t want to get the blame for the additional vocabulary!

You’re a big boy

He’s pretty average for his age thanks, and he’s going to get a complex so leave him alone! Without realising we make personal comments about people, quite often we don’t realise how young we start doing this. It can be really difficult for children, especially if they’re made to feel different.

Don’t worry what daddy says

You better worry about what I say I’m the boss (when mum’s not there!) I don’t like feeling undermined as a person or a parent and this number really grinds my gears.

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