Being a First-Time Mum: Pandemics and Panics

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I’m Nia, I am currently 24 weeks pregnant with my first child. I wanted to share with you all the things I think about or feel going through my first pregnancy and becoming a mum, my god this has been the most isolating time of my life, not knowing who to go to, what opinions are the best ones to take, are you doing the right thing for you or your baby? I think I have chewed my husbands’ ear to the point of a tiny stub with all my thoughts and feelings about, feeding, clothes, birth and a million other things that float through my head every day. I have exhausted google search to within an inch of its life. Being this way, I decided to add my opinions and views into the mix, if I can help anyone in any way, I’m happy to do whatever I can, if sharing my stories or reviews of places or things can help anyone, I’m happy to help, or bore everyone to death[

A bit more about me though, when I found out I was pregnant I was in a pretty weird place, me and my husband are both key workers and being in a job at this time is so hard, the worries about yourself, your family and your friends, I’m sure you all know how hard it is as the worries are there for us all. The morning I did the test I woke up for work and I had a bad day at work the day before and my husband said maybe I should just take the test to give us some good news, we didn’t expect anything as we had been trying for 6 months so we were just trying to cheer ourselves up, I went to the toilet and hubby went to let the dog out, I did the test and got an immediate positive line, I ran downstairs and held it up to him from across the kitchen, I don’t think he knew what to say as it was such a shock to us both. Immediately I had to tell work even though I was only officially 5 weeks, with the pandemic I was under instruction to shield straight away, although after two weeks that all came to an end when new ’evidence’ came up to show that first and second trimester didn’t have to shield, I cant tell you how that felt, worry, fear, anxiety, I wasn’t worried for me, it was my little bean, the new little life I had inside me that I needed to protect. I went back to work but a week and a half later I couldn’t handle all the stress of it all and I ended up getting signed off work and I was off for a further 9 weeks. When that time was over, I had to go back and I have still felt the same anxiety that I felt before, I have been back around 4 weeks and I am now counting down to the 28 week mark when I will be shielding again until my baby is here and my maternity starts. Me saying all this I’m never trying to take more light over anyone who is fearful of the pandemic, this is just how I felt and how scared and anxious I am.

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As well as all the work worries and baby worries if you are anything like me and over analyse everything, when you find out you are pregnant you have a million questions going through your head, am I going to be ok at this? Am I going to be able to cope? With each scan and as your tummy starts to grow and it becomes more real its then the million questions, is he healthy? Is everything growing as it should? Am I eating the right things? My goodness I thought sometimes my brain would explode. Then its all the things you need to prepare for, wipes, nappies, clothes, sterilisers. Am I having a natural birth or a c-section, pain relief or no pain relief? There is so much conflicting information out there and I can see why so many mums don’t know which decision is right. I am in so many mummy groups on Facebook and you see so many mums asking what do I do about this and that and I’ve done it too. I have spoken to so many friends and family about things and I think the general opinion is… you just need to trust yourself; they will tell you what they did but ultimately its you and your partners decision and worst comes to it if that doesn’t work…. Try something else. I do still like to read peoples opinions on things though as sometimes it will give you a different perspective that maybe you hadn’t already thought of. For me now going forward all I’m trying to do is what me and my husband think is best, together as a family. As long as they are happy and safe and we are together that is ultimately all that matters to me.

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