Diary of a Dad: Week 43 - Arguments


We’ve moved from general skirmishes to all out battles on a number of fronts at the moment in our house.

Conflicts often arise at the most difficult times and can last for a while with casualties on both sides. In honesty, the outcome tends to be wholly pointless but alas, each day our kids fight.

I suppose what the best/worst thing is the unpredictability of why they argue. Sibling battles in our house start from pretty much anything but there are some common causes to the conflicts


“It’s not fair” is one of the most over used phrases when it comes to good in out house. Having ketchup? He’s got more than me. Chips? He’s got more than me. Veg? How come he’s got less than me? For every action, there’s a reaction.

This prerequisite discussion happens before the inevitable pilfering of plates. The unconsenstual exchange of food from plate to plate - theft. Or of course the opposite, the unconsentual exchange of broccoli to the opposite party’s plate. It’s incredible how kids can distract themselves from actually eating. They’re pioneers of destruction at meal times if they want to be.

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Why is it that the most useless, broken toy in a room of brilliant toys/options becomes the most coveted item when the opposite part is in possession of it? There are times when I’m baffled by the conflicts that arise from them both wanting the same broken piece of plastic.

There becomes no reasoning with them either, it blows my mind. I think my automatic response is generally to try to barter (unsuccessfully) and broker some kind of peace deal.

The reality is they argue over nothing and it ends in tears or neither of them getting the item. Of course we repeat this futility at least a few times a day!


Another time where life just isn’t fair is he’d time. God forbid there is any contention about a break in routine.

The floor creaks and there’s a full on kick off about some kind of covert action from the other party.

Of course there’s no intention but it snowballs like all things and from being settled, they’re both battling over the conspiracy that the other is attending a secret midnight party that doesn’t involve the other.


An agreement when watching TV is an impossibility mostly. When there is the odd agreement, the stalemate is often broken by one or more of the aforementioned factors.

I guess my favourite is picking a film with the kids. It’s hard enough agreeing what to watch at night, but with the sprogs it can be painful - Lion King for the 900000th time? But not the new one? But you don’t want to watch minutes 7 - 12.38? Sounds brilliant.

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