Dragon vs Unicorn Kids

by Abigail Stanley

I read on a forum recently that some parents are labelling their 'naughty' children as a Dragons, and their well behaved children as Unicorns. This may be down to parents being 'mumsnetted' into not being able to use the adjective naughty anymore to describe 'high spirited' kids. Let me tell you, my child is naughty. I watch Horrid Henry with my son and wonder if he will pick up any better behaviour from it. I've been in public places and had 'the looks' (I mean why do people act as if they've never even seen a child before) as he has slammed his head repeatedly off the ground because I've looked at him the wrong way or something of that nature. I have been subjected to the worst names a 3-year-old can think of, usually, faeces related. I also have the emotional torture of my son never wanting to do anything with me, always his dad, to the point where I can't read him bedtime stories or even wipe his bum after the toilet. I have felt guilty for 3 years about the lack of connection I have with him. I was diagnosed late with postpartum depression when my son was 1 year old and I always wondered if this lack of connection was my fault.

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When he was 2 and a half we found out we were pregnant a second time. I immediately wanted a girl, I was petrified having a boy would mean that I was even more distanced in my family. I went for private scans to find out the gender and as soon as I found out she was a girl, I felt immediately more attached to the baby inside me. The pregnancy made me so happy throughout and when she was born she was perfect. I had the immediate rush of love that everyone talked about last time but I did not feel. Above all else, she was and is so calm, such a placid baby. She will just relax and do her own thing. She will sit and cuddle with me on the sofa. She literally wakes up to watch love island then goes back to sleep when the credits roll. She's my little best friend. And I didn't understand this whole dragon vs unicorn labels until I had her. I thought I deserved to have a 'naughty' boy, who wasn't my best friend, because I was so distanced from him with my depression. But I have my unicorn and she is helping me grow closer to my son every day. He will ask me questions about her and he will get excited for Monday's which is when he doesn't go to his childminder and he has a mummy and baby day. He adores her and he is a better person for being around her. In some ways, I feel grateful for the 3 years of detachment because I appreciate both my children and their love so much more.

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Written by

Abigail Stanley

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Hi mums, I'm Abbey and I am 26. I am currently on maternity leave after having my second child. I'm very straight talking and have a lot of varied experiences parenting two children. I'm here to tell you the myth about if you have a bad birth your baby will be a good baby is just a myth, both of mine were bad! But there is light at the end of the tunnel, my little boy can finally express how he is feeling through words and actions and most of those words are muffled through his bedroom door he's just slammed in my face, so it's all good.

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