Why You Need to be Selfish Sometimes as a Parentby Patricia Nicholls
Most parents will say that there isn’t much time to recharge the batteries let alone their soul. What did we do before kids?! What did we enjoy? All of our time is taken up by life; Parenting, partnering, working, etc.
Those few precious hours in the evening, once kids are in bed, is usually taken up by figuring out how to cram 8 hours into 2 before you eventually just pass out on the sofa before you’ve made up your mind on what Netflix episode to watch.
My favourite band in my teens (and still now) are the Backstreet Boys. I went to my first concert when I was 12 and have been to every concert they’ve played when they’ve toured the UK since. My friend and I have said this is our way of reconnecting with our youth and a chance to scream at 5 men for a few hours!
Their music has always been played at home so my 6-year-old has grown up with them.
When they were touring earlier this year, I bought my ticket as usual and my daughter asked if she could come. This was probably the 1st time I have ever said “no” to her and not felt guilty about it. I think she would have absolutely loved the concert but for those few hours, I needed to be me and not worry about if it was too loud, was she cold? Was she hungry? Did she need the toilet? Or watching her like a hawk. I needed that moment to feel young again; where selfishly, I was the only person who mattered. I needed to have and be in that moment to let it all sink in. The positivity that surrounded me was also a huge buzz. As parents, we get bogged down with routine and life in general that it’s easy to get stuck in a rut and forget who you were before you had children. I feel children need to see this side come out every now and again to see who their parents were. If you don’t share some element of your past how do your children really get to know you? The older they get, the more uncool you appear so let this side out every now and again.
I danced and sang for 2 hours straight and even though I was exhausted before I went out, it seemed to recharge the soul battery deep inside. We all have that something that is our own or makes us feel like us again. Whether it’s a spa treatment/day, a night out, a book and a long soak, we need to prioritise this into our lives to recharge that inner battery.
My daughter will have the band she’s obsessed with, in the not so distant future and I’ll no doubt be the one who takes her to a concert for her to begin her life-long-love journey but for now, this is what made Mummy “Pat” again for a few hours