How to Avoid Common Baby-Naming Conflicts

The process of naming your new baby is very sensitive and personal. In the months leading up to birth, the thought of nailing down a name can be very stressful - because in doing so there’s a good chance finding a name can bring up a lot of conflicts between you and your partner, you and your family members, your friends etc. 

Below are five common baby-naming issues you may face and tips and tricks on how to tackle them head on! 

Conflict 1 - There Are Simply Too Many Names To Pick From

I’m not sure what’s worse, struggling to find names that you and your partner both like. Or having too many names on your list that you just can’t make up your mind! The trouble is that having too many names to choose from can cause a lot of confusion and tension. 

When you’re sitting looking at your list of names and find yourself feeling completely overwhelmed, the best thing to do is to ask yourself the following questions:

  • Do you want to go with a popular name or one that is more obscure? 
  • Do you want a traditional name or a non-traditional one? 
  • Are family names important to you? 
  • Does the meaning of a name matter to you? 
  • Do you want a gender-neutral name or one with a clear gender identity? 
  • What name/s are you emotionally drawn to? 

These are just a handful of the types of questions you can ask yourself and your partner if you’re struggling to hone down on a name you both like! 

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Conflict 2 - You and Your Partner Aren’t on the Same Page

Picking a name is no easy feat, after all the name you give to your child will be theirs for life! So when it comes to naming your little one, both you and your significant other need to be on the same page! And when your preferences are different this can cause issues. 

The best way to work through this sticky phase is to talk it out! Find a time when the both of you can come together to sit and talk through your thoughts and feelings. Both of you will have feelings associated with the names you like and dislike, and it’s important to hear each other out. 

For example, maybe you know four Adam’s from your school years and your partner disliked having to correct his teachers on the spelling of his name. Or maybe your partner is set on keeping in line with family traditions when it comes to names, whereas you’d prefer to go for a non-traditional or rather unique name. 

It’s worth both you and your partner sitting down and writing out your own list of names that you like and dislike - including reasons for those that you dislike! So that you can have a constructive conversation and work together to get on the same page.

Conflict 3 - You’re Feeling Pressure From Friends and Family To Pick a Name

The chances are there will be some noise coming from those around you who are adamant names must be kept within the family. But the trouble is that having to listen to opinionated family members can cause couples to clash - as nobody wants to upset their loved ones. However, giving in to those around you when you’re not in love with your little one’s name, may in time cause feelings of sadness and resentment. 

The best way to avoid this is by setting clear, healthy boundaries with family. You and your partner are a team, so together you need to figure out the best way to respond to your friends and family. By being united in this now, you’re setting a precedent ready for when your little one is here. 

Our go-to when our families were being somewhat overbearing was a simple “Thank you so much for the suggestion! But we are planning on going with this name that we both love, and we hope you’ll grow to love it too!” 

Now some may take offence to this, so make sure to reiterate that it’s not because you don’t like them or their suggestions! Instead, it’s that picking a name is a huge decision and it’s something you and your partner need to do together. 

Conflict 4 - You Are Struggling To Come up With a Name That Fits With Baby’s Siblings Names / Middle Name

My husband and I have three children, all boys, and I can say wholeheartedly that naming our first son was the easiest! Our second was a little more challenging, we had it narrowed down to two names by the time he was born and then once he was here we went with the name that felt right for him. But with our third, oh my gosh! All I have to say is, he nearly had no name! 

Some parents like to name their children very different names and some like to use complimentary names. Be that names that all start with the same letter, or matching middle names.

The best way to resolve this is to again, make a list of names both complimentary and different names and then go over them together and get a feel for what route you’d like to go down. 

P.s. It is totally okay for your children to have similar names, but it is also okay for your children to have wildly different names. It’s down to personal preference, there is no right or wrong when it comes to naming your children. 

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Conflict 5 - You or You Partner Were Set on a Name, but One of You Has Changed Your Mind

This is such a common conflict between soon-to-be parents (myself and my husband included!) you’ve spent months going back and forth, trying to find the perfect name for your little one. You’ve both finally agreed on a name… and then out of nowhere one of you has a change of heart. (Granted it has been me that has changed my mind each time!)

In this situation, frustration levels can rise which in turn may cause no end of bickering, but it’s important that you both hear out the reasons why one of you is no longer on board with the name. 

From there you then need to find a way to move forward, united. Go back to the drawing board, go over the lists of names you compiled and see if there’s another name that you both love, or one that you both will grow to love over time.

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