Terrible Twos and Fours


So I’m starting to think the little shit stage is never going to end, my once innocent children are now the devils spawn who kick off at just about anything that catches eye contact with them.
I like to pretend to be one of those family’s with our shit together, you know the ones? Who all sit and eat perfectly at the table, kids that do all sort of extracurricular activities.

Now we’re halfway there, we do sit at the table but this is normally accompanied with arguments and food up the wall, which doesn’t help with the fact a few weeks ago mummy had a brainwave whilst cooking tea which involved showing them the old “chuck spaghetti at the wall and see if it sticks trick”. now you can imagine that just about every food group know to man has been splattered up the kitchen wall and some point.
Extracurricular? Well, we’re halfway there, if you can class being disruptive at the local diddikicks, Does that count?

The worst thing about it is the looks you get of said “perfect mums” of there is such a thing. Oh how I would love to tell them about the events leading up to the distribution, like the fact I’d probably been up every hour throughout the night with a teething baby chewing my nipples off, or the shit explosion just before leaving the house that resulted in an outfit change x2 (one for baby one for me). 

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I'm also starting to think the phrase “you’ve got your hands-full” on every single trip out will never end as well, despite how well behaved the children are being, I suppose that’s another perk of parenthood, the judgment.

Enter the beginning of the school half term! That phrase will be all I hear now there are more people around. I’m not leaving the house. If anybody needs me; I’m hiding.

Sometimes I get a quick glimpse of the well-behaved children they used to be, see the thing is they’re either really good or REALLY bad, we’ve not quite mastered the in-between stuff yet! I suppose that is all part of the package with three under 5’s.

But all in all, I love those little monsters; even if they are drawing on my wall “to see how I like it” or drawing on the floor and blaming the dog. The dog gets up to all sorts of mischief apparently but that’s another story.
So if you're having one of ‘those days’ the nightmare’ ish ones, just know there are some people out there that nearly lose their shit daily, You’re not on your own mama! Enjoy that bathroom breakdown, it’s probably the only 5 minutes of peace your going to get on one of those days.

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